Why Language Matters in Championing Gender Equality?
In Episode 9 of Talent Talk, I sat down with a male senior leader who’s spent the last year doing deep work on his role in gender equity. One theme that came up—again and again—was the power of language. How subtle shifts in words can either reinforce bias or pave the way for inclusion.
He said something that really landed with me:
“I never realised how often I’d say things like ‘she’s too emotional’ or ‘he’s a strong leader’ without noticing the double standards embedded in my words.”
That honest reflection sparked a wider conversation about how language—intentional or not—can shape perceptions, reinforce gender stereotypes, and impact professional growth.
🎧 Listen to the full episode on Spotify:Talent Talk – Episode 9
The Micro-Messages We Miss
Language doesn’t just reflect culture. It shapes it.
When leaders consistently describe women as “reliable” and men as “strategic,” we send micro-messages about value and potential. These word choices affect who gets promoted, who gets stretch roles, and who’s seen as leadership material.
Let me give you some real examples:
A woman is described as “hardworking” while her male peer is “visionary.”
A man is “assertive” but a woman is “aggressive.”
A woman is “too emotional” while a man is “passionate.”
See the pattern?
It’s subtle. But it’s systemic. And these patterns quietly push women to the sidelines.
The Double Bind: Damned If You Do
We also spoke about the double bind women often face.
If a woman speaks up, she may be seen as abrasive. If she stays quiet, she’s viewed as passive. If she takes charge, she’s “bossy.” If she defers, she lacks confidence.
As the Chair and Managing Director of BASF Australia and New Zealand, David noted:
“I used to coach women to ‘speak up more.’ I didn’t realise the penalties they faced when they did.”
That’s the paradox. We tell women to lead—but judge them harshly when they show up in ways that don’t conform to our comfort zone.
It’s not the women who need fixing. It’s the system of language we’ve inherited and must unlearn.
Why Leaders Must Watch Their Words
In leadership, every word carries weight. When you’re at the top, people listen closely. That means your language has the power to:
Validate or invalidate
Include or exclude
Amplify or diminish
And that’s not just true in formal feedback. It shows up in:
Performance reviews
Offhand comments
Introductions in meetings
Team emails
Coaching sessions
Language, when left unchecked, becomes a mechanism for bias.
5 Shifts Leaders Can Make Today
So, how do we change our language? In the episode, we talked about tangible shifts every leader can make—starting now.
1. From “She’s Not Ready” to “How Can We Get Her Ready?”
Challenge passive gatekeeping. Instead of defaulting to “not yet,” explore the development support needed.
2. Replace Labels with Specific Behaviours
Avoid loaded terms like “aggressive” or “emotional.” Be specific:
What behaviour did you observe?
How did it impact the outcome?
Would you describe it the same way if a man did it?
3. Balance Praise with Potential
It’s great to call someone “dependable.” But don’t stop there. Are you also recognizing their strategic thinking, innovation, and leadership potential?
4. Audit Your Feedback and Reports
Look back at your past performance reviews. Do you notice patterns in how you describe men vs. women? Most leaders are surprised by what they find.
5. Ask, Don’t Assume
Don’t assume how someone wants to be described. If you’re introducing someone, ask:
“How would you like me to position you in this meeting?”
It’s a small act of respect that builds inclusion.
The Role of Men in This Conversation
Some men worry they’ll say the wrong thing—and so they say nothing. Others assume language is a “soft” issue, not core to performance.
Let’s be clear: language is leadership. If you want to champion gender equality, you have to own the words you use—and the assumptions behind them.
One of my favourite moments in the episode was when David said:
“I now correct my colleagues when they describe a woman as ‘intense’ without context. I’ll ask: ‘Would you say that about James?’”
That’s allyship. It’s not just about avoiding harm. It’s about using your voice to disrupt patterns.
Organisational Language Audits
Beyond individual awareness, organisations need to systematise inclusive language. Here’s how:
Revise performance review templates: Build in prompts to check for bias.
Train managers in inclusive feedback: Equip them with better language tools.
Standardise introductions: Ensure everyone is introduced with equal credibility.
Monitor job descriptions: Remove gender-coded language that deters diverse applicants.
Culture doesn’t just show up in big moments—it lives in everyday words.
Final Thought: Words Shape Futures
If we want to see more women thriving in leadership, we have to interrogate the words we use to describe them—and start using language that reflects potential, not just performance.
“The way we talk about women shapes how others see them—and how they see themselves.”
It starts with noticing. Then shifting. Then repeating until it’s second nature.
Because inclusive leadership isn’t just what we do—it’s how we speak.
💬 Learn how to create an inclusive language culture at The Career Establishment.
Series Navigation
Part 1: Why We Need Male Champions for Gender Equality?
Part 2: Mentorship Isn’t Enough - Why Women Need Sponsors?
Continue to Part 4: Building Safe Spaces for Candid Conversations
Part 5: Sustaining Allyship: Moving From Intention to Impact